Saturday, October 2, 2010

"Pretty" please!

So I am having some trouble sleeping tonight. This is not the most convenient thing considering I have to be up in about 5 hours. It could have something to do with the fact that I slept about 11 hours last night and am not all that sleepy. It could also have something to do with a thought that has been weighing heavy on me lately.
The statement comes in several different forms, but it usually goes something like this. "I don't look good in pictures.", "I'm not photogenic.", or "I'm not pretty."
I hear it all the time. It makes me so sad! Somewhere along the line we have painted this picture to ourselves of what "pretty" or photogenic is and we tell ourselves that we don't fit that profile. Either someone has said something to us that has damaged us or at some point we deemed ourselves unworthy to be photographed. Now, while this disturbs me as a photographer, it disturbs me even more as a human. The fact is that we are not here by happenstance. We are not here by mistake.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

What an amazing acknowledgement that we see here in the psalms! This story that we call life is an intricate one that has so many dimensions and we have been woven into it's very being.
I remember in my youth I hated having my picture taken. Honestly I can't really remember why now. There are many photos I look back on though and there is no evidence of me being a part of those memories. I SO wish that wasn't the case. I won't ever be able to go back and recreate them though. I also have photos that I do have of myself with people that are no longer with us and while I may not have been thrilled with the way I looked, I know that there will never be another opportunity to be photographed with these people again. I am SO thankful that I have those!
I understand the reality that some people will never let this concept sink into their hearts. Honestly it sucks, cause it means that there has been so much damage to their spirit that they will probably live the rest of their lives thinking that they are unworthy. There comes a point when you can't plead with people anymore because the more you do the more they will figuratively plug their ears as they drill into their minds that they are unacceptable to be seen. I have seen it enough that I suppose this is just one last plea for people to see my heart on this and for them to hopefully be honest with themselves.
Take away every concept of what attractive is for a moment. A photograph isn't meant to capture what people have etched in their minds to be beautiful. A photograph is simply meant to capture life.....and life without any expectation in and of itself is beautiful.

Please, allow yourself to be a part of it!

~J